The Correctness Explains: The Phone Company Pt.1
…TPC is going to be defensive with you when you call. The aren’t angry, they are defensive. First, everyone hates them, and they don’t understand why. They don’t understand why everyone hates them because they are retarded. Second, they have had literally weeks of training in the art of the closed ended rhetorical paradigm. Not only are they entirely untrained in the unimaginable possibility that you may have a point, but they are also exclusively trained to respond to questions for which they receive only yes or no answers. Consequently, they have absolutely not the first nutstamp of a clue as to what to do if you ask them questions off the approved list. If you thought the Pope was slow on the progress, the Catholic church looks comparatively responsive (and non-rapey) next to TPC…
Correctness Average Stats
(ED: The following data is not to be considered fact, as we are making some guesses here. And by we, I mean me, but you don’t know which of us I am, now do you…)
We’ve done some statistical compilation, and can report the following information to you.
The Correctness has 2 kids, 2 cats, 1 dog, and a shitload of guitars. It contains 67% glasses, and 33% perfect vision. It’s 67% married, 33% single. It has visited California, Toronto, Seattle, and Paris since it began. It is a student, a copywriter, and a systems analyst. It is a standup comedian, a musician, and a lego artist. It is Alpha and Omega.
Laser Sluts From Mars: A Hollywood Book n’ Film For Women
LASER SLUTS FROM MARS:
PART VI: THE SEXY WRATH OF THE SPACE TITS UNDERGARMENTS
Juliette set her tea cup down onto the saucer. What had motivated her to use her grandmother’s good china for tea today was beyond simple explanation. Nonetheless, she had been drawn to the good china, and she felt a slight sense of coy scandalousness for having selected it.
Rejected Movie Ideas
The Correctness is working on cracking into the Hollywood market. We’ve been busy coming up with film ideas. Here are a few that we’ve pitched and, for reasons we can’t fathom, have been rejected.
HOLOCAUST DOLPHINS (Working Title)
The touching and troubling story of a pod of dolphins that are captured by Nazis and placed in a seaside internment camp in July 1940.Will the beauty of these majestic creatures overcome the cruelty of man? Can the dolphins find warmth and love in the midst of cold, unrelenting fascism?
Click the article for more…
Kingdom Hearts Conundrum
Dear Square Enix:
I have a couple questions about Kingdom Hearts.
1. Why in your advertising do you pronounce “385/2 days” “three-eight-five days over two”, when logically it would be “three hundred eighty five over 2 days” or even more logically “192.5 days”?