IRON MAN 2: Review

This past weekend, the stars aligned properly, Zod was in retrograde, and The Correctness gathered together for that time honoured tradition: The Superhero Movie.

We were all able to get tickets to the same showing of Iron Man 2 in IMAX, and made the appropriate amount of noise at the appropriate, and inappropriate times. We cheered and were impressed with the trailer for Inception, and we sighed and wept for the future during the trailer for Shrek 56.

Tbinns suggested at the end of the film that we all review the film Smackdown style. And so, we did… Enjoy! (Also, weigh in on the poll at your right!)

admin_rock

First, the disclosure: I was never much of an Iron Man fan. I didn’t read his comic book, and when I did come across him in other books, he always seem boring. Civil War and X-Men Forever both paint him in a bad light, and it’s difficult to have any affinity for the character.

Having said that, I went to the original Iron Man film, and really enjoyed it. I thought it was well made, kept things moving, and was very enjoyable. I had suspicions that it wouldn’t be one of the all time greats, and I don’t think it has much rewatchability.

After seeing Iron Man 2, it all became very clear for me. This franchise lives and dies with Robert Downey Jr. I have a hunch that you could change every other aspect of the films (not to slight Jon Favreau, who did a great job), as long as you keep Downey, you’re fine.

I say this because it occurred to me while I watched that I love the hell out of Downey’s Stark (if only the comics would capture that bravado…), but I don’t really like Iron Man.

As a hero, he’s pretty dull. The mask doesn’t help, as we lose a lot of his humanity, and the fact that all his villains so far have been other guys in metal suits, and that the “new suits” are all just slightly different versions of the same suit, same colours etc. There’s also the part where we watch metal hit metal again and again, with no impact on the human inside. Yawn.

Mickey Rourke is in this movie, apparently he’s a genius physicist who has the hair of a wrestler, the tattoos of a douchebag, and the teeth of Flava Flav. He lives with his dad in a fleabag apartment in Russia, and when his dad dies, leaving behind some blueprints, he’s able to fashion a powerful whip-like device using the power supply thingie that Stark also uses. So, if I understand this, while rent, and haircuts are apparently an issue, finding and getting expensive electrical parts, power supplies, and such are easy as pie. Okay.

And what the hell was all that crap about the bird? Do we care? Did I miss something? I was certain he was using the term in the English sense, that he was demanding the return of Scarlett Johanssen.

My other issue was with the insane amount of broken glass in this movie. Whenever possible, glass in this movie will shatter, showering everyone in sight. But no one gets cut. Ever. There’s a scene where drunken girls are throwing bottles in the air, Iron Man is blasting the bottles, which shatter everywhere, and no one is even ducking or covering themselves. Later in the movie, the exhibition is interrupted by a battle, and glass falls about 1 or 2 stories on to the crowd, who are completely unaffected.

Performance-wise, Downey is awesome in this role. He’s a delight to watch, the ultimate rich guy with swagger. Sam Rockwell was great as well, the kind of role most actors would kill for! Don Cheadle and Gwyneth Paltrow are fine, and do their jobs effectively. Scarlett Johanssen is great eye candy, and her fight sequences are fantastic (great choice to keep them short and sweet).

On the whole, I’d say this is a great film, I’d recommend it to anyone. It’s not the king of superhero films (still Dark Knight Returns in my book), but it’s an enjoyable ride. I’d give it an 8 out of 10.

Tbinns

Wait a minute, wait a minute, Dave. Are you suggesting that The Dark Knight has LESS broken glass than Iron Man 2? Perhaps if you count by volume ie: 1 giant glass dome versus 50 individual and separate glass windows.

The Dark Knight is NOTHING BUT broken glass. Just off the top of my head there was broken glass in: The bank heist, the recapture of Scarecrow, Rachel getting dropped out the window…a TON of broken glass when the Bat cycle took a tour through that building, the capturing of Lau, and the swat break in at the end. That’s not even counting the hospital and warehouse explosions.

I’m not saying it wasn’t awesome…I’m just saying people in broken glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, so to speak.

(admin_rock: I was more speaking to the showering of innocents with glass while they gleefully ignore it, but I could have been more clear. AND, I’m not basing my “king of superhero movies” solely on glass count, mister “I read your review before writing my own!”)

Could someone with even less of a life than us do a comparative study/youtube video and settle this one for us please?

(RobbieRobTown: I did, but got bored)

But onto the subject at hand…

I enjoyed the hell out of Iron Man 2. The lone Black Widow fight scene was awesome…Scar Jo did not embarrass herself at all by trying an accent, which I think was a good choice. (How good of a spy would she be if she sounded deeply Russian?)Mickey Rourke chose a more laid back form of scenery chewing, which made him more bad ass. (I agree the bird went nowhere, apart from the payoff sight gag after he took out those Hammer cronies.) And dialogue wise, everyone was talking at the same time as everyone else, with that kind of 70’s era overlap, which I still think is kinda nifty. The action was well done, although it could have used a little more. It was funny. The Avengers set up was exciting. Sam Rockwell was great. And of course Robert Downey jr. fucking OWNS Tony Stark.

It was a good time, and judging by the upcoming release slate, I don’t see too many more of those coming this summer. I’m not certain where all of this mixed reaction and dislike is coming from. I think we might be spoiled. I hate to pull the old man “When I was a kid” routine, but I remember a time when we would DREAM of superhero movies like this, when all we were getting is a Golan Globus Punisher that didn’t even HAVE the skull symbol on the outfit. And it starred Dolph Lundgren. Dolph. Lundgren.And a straight to video Captain America, which owing to the fact that it starred J.D. Salinger’s son, I have nicknamed “Catcher in the Wal-Mart Bargain Bin”

This is what we were talking about on the monkey bars at recess people, lighten up and enjoy it. And if Scarlett Johannsen (and Gwyneth Paltrow, if that’s your taste) in a tight black dress sashaying slowly up a set of stairs isn’t worth your 15 bucks I don’t know what is.

RobbieRobTown:

I didn’t exactly see the first Iron Man film under the best circumstances. In fact, let me just say that due to an unfathomably shitty series of events, and a transpacific flight, that particular Monday, the single worst day of my life, lasted 35 hours. Anyhow, that was the day I saw Iron Man, and because my subconscious could not allow my fragile conscious mind to experience any more depression, I think I enjoyed it. Actually, I just felt numb, and suicidal, so that was a really refreshing change from the soul shattering nightmare the rest of that day was.

So, my expectations for Iron Man 2 were low, to say the very least. Well, good news, everyone! My expectations were totally exceeded! This movie was better than the lowest point you have ever experienced. Iron Man 2 was better than a totally genuine existential meltdown. Iron man 2 is better than questioning your entire understanding of reality! Iron Man 2 is better than the last in a long line of unfathomably thorough betrayals! Iron Man 2 is better than confronting the purposelessness of your own existence. And Scarlett Johansson is in it, and she is so very pretty. By the way, I just did a quick spelling check on Scarlett Johansson’s name in google, and auto complete suggested the following 2 things in order:

1. First Auto-Complete Suggestion: “Scarlett Johansson”

2. Next Auto-Complete Suggestion: “Scarlett Johansson’s Breast size”.

Really? Really guys? Google, really? Does it matter? Did you enjoy seeing them in the film? Did you need reassurance for a sweater you are knitting for her? Can that possible be the second most popular search regarding Scarlett Johansson in the entire world? Wow guys.

The boys have already covered the key points on this film. I thought the dialouge was cute, and punchy, and an A-List nerd fantasy girl kicks some ass- Though, spoiler alert, she kicks ass for basically no narrative reason. She still kicks ass, but it just isn’t important to the story at all- AT ALL.

A word of warning for you die-hards waiting for the end credits reveal- another spoiler alert here- the long wait through the credits is not exactly paid off  by the awkwardly framed shot of Thor’s Hammer. Food for thought, though it is very respectful of you to sit through all the credits like that.

Author: The Correctness

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