10 Insidious Items Calculated To Make You Buy More Useless Shit at Christmas.
You know things have gotten bad when you long for the days of soap on a rope. I mean don’t get us wrong, the Correctness is very pro Christmas. No self respecting adult with the mentality of a 12 year old (which pretty much describes all three of us) would have the temerity to hate Christmas. What we object to is the outer fringe dollar store type ephemera that really draw attention to the fact that the whole thing has gotten waaay out of control. These ten that we present for your edification are but a tip of the giant lumbering iceberg that is Pointless Christmas Shit, and it’s headed right for the S.S. Holiday Spirit.
A Nerd’s Letter to Penthouse
Dear Penthouse,
I calculated the odds of the letters that people write you being true, constructing a formula based on ratio of repeated incidents, and comparitive studies on similarities of writing styles, and divided it by a whole number rounded up, calculated from an overall probabilty factor based on plausibility and came to the conclusion that the letters written in your forum were specious at best, and certainly would never happen to me.