Dear Academy Of Motion Picture Blah Blah Blah
(Note: This is a repost of the original).
cough cough BESTSUPPORTINGACTOR cough cough.
Oh, excuse me I’m sorry. Something stuck in my craw, I think…oh..wait
cough coughBESTSCREENPLAYcough cough cough
There, that’s better.
Dear Disposable Razor Companies
(Note: This is a repost of the original.)
Oh hey guys.
I was just thinking, you know what would be sweet?
How about instead of 5 blades that dull as soon as I glance at them, you concentrate on providing me 1 blade that is sharp? Or, how about instead of a lubricating strip, you provide me one blade that stays sharp? Or how about instead of a special vibrating handle, you manufacture a single blade that stays sharp?
Dear Waitress at the Chinese Buffet
(Note: This is a repost of the original)
While I applaud your eagerness, it’s okay for my water glass to have more than two sips missing before refilling it.
Also: The fortune cookies should return to telling “fortunes”. Telling me things about myself does NOT count.