A Word about all this “Tbinnsing” Nonsense.
Tbinnsing – (verb) The act of gratuitously posting pictures of attractive actresses/models in articles for the express purpose of ogling shamelessly, with only the barest of connections to the topic at hand. (Orig. AdminRock)
It has recently come into vogue to turn my handle into the aforementioned verb. I think that is painting me with some rather broad strokes, and diminishes some of the work I do around here. This whitewashing makes me out to be some kind of a horrible perv, or worse a 411 mania staff writer, who will post pictures of celebrities going out to get coffee, and make some sort of comment on how tight her jeans are.
I never wanted this to be that kind of a site. I had a dream for this place and it did not involve indulging my Hot Nerdy librarian type fetish…
8 Simple Rules for Making a Superman Movie
an Open Letter to Zack Snyder
Dear Zack
You would think it would be the easiest thing in the world to get right, but no one has made a decent Superman movie since the early 80’s. (It’s a fact of SCIENCE!!) Everyone knows what Superman does. Everyone knows what he’s like. And yet, know one seems to be able to get it right. Well The Correctness is here to help, so pay attention …
Letter to a Woodcutter
Dear Mr. Woodcutter,
I am writing to you seeking compensation for damages to my property and myself, stemming from events of two weeks ago. As you’re no doubt aware, your children, finding themselves lost in the woods, took it upon themselves to vandalize a modern art installation I was working on in the darkest part of the forest. Not that you would be concerned, but my goal was to show the juxtaposition of the innocence and color of candy with the bleakness of the forest.
Read more…
To Doctor Josef Nefario
To Doctor Josef Nefario, head of Applied Interglobal Industries, Sept 12, 2008:
Dr Nefario, I’m writing you to inform you that payment is past due for our recent renovations to your Los Angeles office. We had agreed on strict terms, due to the nature of the alterations, which our office strongly advised against. In addition, on our post install visit, our quality control assistant Barry noted that you had failed to apply for the appropriate relaxations and permits, as you had stated you would. Normally, our office would handle these matters, but you were very insistent on this matter.
An Open Letter from Katy Perry’s breasts
To Whom it May Concern:
Listen, we know you’re looking at us. We get it. We’re on the big side, as far as breasts go. Along with Katy’s eyes, we represent most of the oversized stuff on her. And certainly, we’ve helped her get to where she is today. Our presence requires her to build up her lung capacity, and makes it easy for her to get meetings with agents and record producers.
Re: Shameless Plugs: Letter of Complaint
…The internet is no place for advertising. It is an immense public forum that runs on goodwill and charitable government servers, and rainbow kisses. I would be immensely, immensely disturbed if anyone were to mention that RobbieRobTown has a musical going up at the Edmonton Fringe Festival. Why would you bother to tell me that he has written all the music, or that he is starring in the show? That sort of corporate pandering is deplorable, gentlemen. We have all had enough quirky puppet musicals with banjos. The Muppets got there first, and Jim Henson controls the copyright to all things fabric with banjos…