A personal note to the fucktard to sat in front of me at the Folk Festival
Dear Fucktard: (and I call you that not because I don’t know your name, but because you’re a fucktard.)
I just wanted to drop you a little line to let you know where your behavior strayed from socially acceptable boundaries. I suspect the first strike was when you thought “Gee, I’ll just wander in here and insinuate myself in a space far too small for my giant chairs. Hmm, right on the very front edge of this blanket seem right, that should make it impossible for the guy who waited in line for hours to see”.
A Personal Thank You to Telus
Thanks for burning my retinas out with a blinding bright light after I sat in a dark movie theatre for 20 minutes waiting for the movie to start. I believe your commercial might have had a lizard and a phone in it, but I couldnt really tell. The initial blast of light led me to believe there had been a tactical nuclear strike at the cineplex and I was momentarily distracted. So again, my deepest gratitude and my heartfelt wish that...
7 things you should already know about flying cars.
(Editor’s Note: This article was taken from a copy of “The Correctness” Magazine, June 3020 edition. It was found in the trunk of Rob’s car, after he took some type of time-related trip)
As you well know, Flying Cars have now been around since 2984, but it seems strange to The Correctness that many of you out there still haven’t mastered the basics of driving them. Here are a few simple guidelines that will keep us all safely flying.
How much is too much?
Lady:
I can smell your perfume in the exhaust-fume-filled parkade a full 5 minutes after you passed through. You smell like the cosmetics section of Walmart crawled up into, and subsequently died inside of, the corpse of a Giant Anus Beast.
You can’t cover ugly with reek.
