The Twelve Days of Christmas – Intern Ellis style
(Intern Ellis upstages all by actually filing an article. Admin_Rock posts it a day late).
DECEMBER FIRST: INTRODUCTION
Ah, December. That wonderful time of year when we set down our quarrels, pick up a mug of hot cocoa, sit by the Shaw fire log and turn on our favourite Christmas album, Christmas with the Chipmunks. And if that’s not your favourite Christmas album, turn off your computer.
Some people dismiss Christmas with the Chipmunks as merely a novelty album, a collection of mediocre songs that wouldn’t have garnered any sort of acclaim if not for its “gimmicky” premise. These people are called barbarians. We are better than them. We understand the mind of the man behind Christmas with the Chipmunks, Ross Bagdasarian Sr. Or at least, we hope to. Who can say, really, what machinery drove the brains of all the great geniuses throughout history? Da Vinci, Einstein, Bach, Bagdasarian—these men all thought on a higher level than we mortals could ever hope to.
Perhaps people were afraid of Christmas with the Chipmunks. It’s not every day someone comes out with an album of 12 Christmas songs sung in high-pitched three-part harmonies, let alone an album of 12 Christmas songs sung in high-pitched three-part harmonies by a band of rodents. Fear and derision are usually the go-to reactions of plebeians who don’t understand true art. I know this, because I was met with the same reactions by my contemporaries. You need not pity me, though. All great artists must suffer for their art, and I am no different. I shall choose Art over my so-called friends. And I will show them—indeed, I will show you ALL—the true meaning of Christmas with the Chipmunks.
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHIPMUNKS BEGINS TOMORROW
