Almost Paris in The Spring Time

Theatre

A very short play by Tbinns

(Scene is in a park . Bill is sitting on the bench reading a book. It’s a bright beautiful spring afternoon, the birds are singing , the sun is warm and welcoming. A young thin, well dressed blonde girl, Becky comes and sits on the Bench. Bill stares a moment while she checks her make up)

BILL: Excuse me, you look familiar…

BECKY: Yeah I get that all the time. I’m a professional Paris Hilton impersonator.

BILL: I’m sorry, you’re a what now?

BECKY: A professional Paris Hilton impersonator. You know at parties and special events…that sort of thing.

BILL: So you make money…

BECKY: Yes…

BILL: Doing an impression of someone

BECKY: Uh huh

BILL: Who makes money…

BECKY: Yes…

BILL: …for doing nothing.

BECKY: That about sums it up, yes.

(Bill sighs and stands up)

BILL: Well, I’m going to go stick my face in a belt sander until the sweet blessed relief of death comes and washes the stain of North American culture from my deadened soul.

BECKY: OK, have fun, I’m going to watch the Bachelorette on my Ipod..

(Bill leaves, R.E.M’s “The End of the World as We Know It” plays as the lights go down. Curtain.)

For performance rights, please contact tbinns@thecorrectness.com

Author: Tbinns

Tony is a stand up comedian. Tony is a writer. Tony is a sketch comedian. Tony defines himself by what he does. This is due to poor self esteem. He is horribly opinionated and prone to boogers.

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