How much is too much?
Lady:
I can smell your perfume in the exhaust-fume-filled parkade a full 5 minutes after you passed through. You smell like the cosmetics section of Walmart crawled up into, and subsequently died inside of, the corpse of a Giant Anus Beast.
You can’t cover ugly with reek.
Emergency Car Repair Tips (For the Fragile Male Ego)
The Correctness Presents: Emergency Car Repair for the Fragile Male Ego
So your car has broken down? Are you stranded on the side of the highway? Are your hypothetical passengers, wife, and/or children screaming at you to do something? Do you think, perhaps, just for one all too tempting moment, if you simply slipped away into the wilderness you could leave it all behind and nobody would ever notice or care? What awaits you in those dark mysterious woods? Is it The Bloodthirsty Wendigo? Will he eat you first, for your cruel betrayal of your family, or will he consume their flesh as you run to your inevitable doom in the web of the Giant Spider? Do you remember the Battle for Endor movies? Will those be your last memories as your fluids are sucked partially out of you, leaving you just alive enough to watch the Wendigo fight the Spider, knowing that your fate is still to be eaten no matter which one wins? All I remember about those Endor movies is the kid with the headband.
7 Things We Hate About Weddings
7 things we hate about Weddings:
Lest we start to sound unromantic, let us first say that we here at The Correctness have no objection to the notion of making a lifelong vow to your partner who you deeply love. No, we think marriages are a lovely idea, and fully 2/3 of The Correctness are happily wed, and a mere 1/3 of us are hopeless bachelors who screw up every relationship we touch like some kind of reverse King Midas (See the Hollies 1968 “hit” entitled “King Midas in Reverse” if you would like to see this metaphor extended into meaninglessness).
