American Apparel and the End of Days
IN THE BEGINNING, there was The Eighties. And the Eighties were wrong in the eyes of The Lord, and the sinners who worked at American Apparel had been born in the 90’s, and they knew not how wrong they were to dress that way. And they knew not that pulp-porn imagery is creepy, and they knew not of how to work at a real job. The Lord looked upon American Apparel, and he frowned.
1. Yea, and the sky will crack, and fire will rain down, and those wearing retro non-prescription glasses frames from the eighties will be blinded immediately, and they will run in the streets and bleed from their anuses. For Vanity shall be the sin which ends the world. “Glasses are for seeing, not for fashion” sayeth The Lord, and The Lord shall say “Enough with the glasses, especially if you don’t need them. How about I give you all a bleeding anus disease?”. And so it shall be.
A Minor Grammatical Concern Re: “Literally”.
File under: Awkward Usage, Modern language, “Literally”
Hello, Modern Language Users:
Um, hey, gosh guys, I’m not sure how to put this. You know when you say things like “That was literally the biggest meal ever”, or “That was literally off the hizzy”? You know what I’m talking about? Yeah, about that…
Yeah, um, I’m no Grammar Nazi, I mean, not anymore, and I certainly enjoy the flexibility of writing in this casual style. It’s just that I think what you think “literally” means isn’t what it means? Ya know?…
Read on here…
10 Movies You Should Have Seen, but Probably Haven’t.
Here at The Correctness, we pride ourselves on better living through smarminess. But our mother (collectively) always told us that you also have to say nice things about stuff sometimes, otherwise people just think you’re a bitter old jerk.
So, The Correctness now presents 10 movies you should see, but probably haven’t. Well, odds are you’ve seen a couple of them. Begin your rabid e-mails of dissent and film one-upsmanship now. These are no particular order, save the order we thought of them.