The Dozens for Nerds
Sometimes, a nerd can only take so much. We have a high tolerance for insults, forged on the third floor, west side near English class, as the jocks wandered by. But occasionally, we must hit back. To that end, The Correctness now arms with you the sharpest ripostes, the most bon of bon mots with which to savage your opponents.
> Your Momma is so fat she has an Event Horizon.
> Your Momma is such a slut Alan Moore is scared of her.
> Your Momma is so fat she needs an Uncanny X-Men Omnibus Edition to wipe her ass.
> Your Momma is so fat she needs a Frozen Donkey Wheel to move her.
> Your Momma is so fat she needs a Fellowship to carry all her Lembas.
> Your Momma is so fat she turns on the BBC to watch “Doctor Who the Hell Let You Eat That Much.”
> Your Momma is so fat it took Leonardo Delissio to Incept her.
>Your Momma is so fat Tyler Perry developed her into three separate shitty characters.
>Your Momma is so fat she tore a hole in space time, and the crew of the Enterprise kept blowing up until they met Kelsey Grammer.
(Follow up: In fact, Your Momma is so fat they reconfigured HER to emit a tachyon pulse)
> Your Momma is so fat that you rode her into space when you were recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.
>Your Momma is so ugly that Bowser left her in the first castle.
> Your Momma is so slutty that Gandalf fell into her vajee and had to fight a Balrog for 3 days to escape.
> Your momma is so round that her lack of rolling resistance is overcome immediately by wind resistance.
>Your momma is so huge that quantum physics don’t apply to her.
>Your Momma is so slutty they jam a water bottle in her and use her to detect neutrinos.
> Your Momma is so ugly that HP Lovecraft can’t conceive of her.
>Your Momma is so old that most of her didn’t survive the Precambrian mass extinction.
> Your Momma’s so fat that the Vistors got her up to the mother ship and didn’t have room to stock the rest of the human race in the freezing chambers
>Your Momma’s so stupid she thinks the Force comes from the midichlorians in our blood
> Your Momma’s so fat that Maud’Dib had summoned her to break the shield wall.
> Your Momma’s so fat that John Byrne featured her in Alpha Flight Vol 1, issue 22.
> Your Momma’s so fat that she doesn’t date, spacecraft Rendevous with her every 1,000 years.
> Your Momma’s so fat, the Lannisters and Starks went to war over her thigh.
> Your Momma’s so fat Steven Spielberg wrote a film about her, “Your Momma Park”.
So rest assured, you will never again lose a battle of wits, and leave your rivals speechless. Oh, the jocks will STILL kick your ass, but it’ll make for a better story later.
Join in, share, best us if you can!!!!
