RobbieRobTown and the Curse of the Alphabetical Ladies
Hello Correctoids.
As you know, I maintain my own twitter feed, @RobbieRobTown, on which I occasionally tweet thoughts of tremendous importance. However, one such incident resulted in an inexplicable hack of my account… I think… Allow me to explain.
I tweeted the following:
“In Green Lantern Rebirth, they chase Parallelogram back into that big lantern on Oprah. Does that mean they have to fear The Colour Purple?”
And very suddenly I gained 7 followers. LADY FOLLOWERS. Was it because I mentioned Oprah? Was it because we have so many regular visitors that every human on earth knows about my comic misunderstanding of all things Green Lantern? Are there that many girl-type comic book nerds out there who love Oprah crossover jokes? If so, I am reading everything Green Lantern, and getting shares in OWN.
Here is how I came to suspect that something was awry. This is a list of the names of these ladies from the notification email about being followed.
Lilia Sagan
Loida Winnegan
Loma Hoivik
Loris Treadway
Lorita Holladay
Lorita Hadfield
Lorri Beaudette
I was being sequentially added and followed by The Alphabetical Ladies. Worse yet, I was being followed alphabetically by first name. It is a commonly known fact that alphabetical ordering by first name instead of last is what caused the World War I. Ben Folds is in two places in my CD collection. The Ben Folds Five are under B, because that is the band name, and music by the solo artist Ben Folds is under F, because that is his last name, you chimps, and don’t try and confuse things by doing otherwise, HMV!
I have no idea if any of these ladies are real (some had photos, some did not), and since that fateful tweet 4 of them have retracted their friendship. Not enough talk about Oprah?
If this was a weird hack of some kind with fictional ladies (I distrust fictional internet ladies immensely), to what end did they follow me? So I would follow them back?
Perhaps it was to generate hits on the fictional ladies favourite websites. For a short while one “Heidi Klum” was following me because I said the following:
“God as my witness, I don’t think Heidi Klum should be in charge of a show that discovers funny children. #comedyisntpretty”
Upon inspection, I didn’t think it was actually Heidi Klum… Unless Heidi Klum has a self deprecating sense of humour, and “talks” entirely about enetertainment news whilst completely failing the Turing Test… Perhaps because of her cold German heart. She probably alphabetizes by first name.
In any case, Alphabetical Ladies, If you are real, I’m sorry, and if you are a marketing scheme, you have utterly failed to sell me a product.
Sincerely,
RobbieRobTown
