Memo from DC and Marvel
The Correctness has gotten its Dorito-dusted fingers on a couple of private memos from the Big Two in comics. Everyone is noticing the amount of press that Marvel had over its new Ultimate Spider-Man, who is half Latino, half African American. Seems like neither company can wait to switch up more characters.
From DC Comics…
Wonder Woman – The new Wonder Woman will be Puerto Rican, a Rosie Perez in “Do The Right Thing” sort of thing.
Superman – Supes is no longer Kryptonian, he’s now from the planet Rigel II. Rigel II has a blue sun, so Earth’s sun makes him really, REALLY strong.
Cyborg – Non human part is now entirely Mac.
Flash – Icelandic.
Batman – Will now be Chinese, and Jewish.
From MARVEL
Captain America – To properly reflect demogrpahics, will be Mexican.
Iron Man – Will be Japanese, constantly upgrading armor to smaller suits.
Hulk – Belgian. Also, to reflect modern values, when he turns Green, he will focus on energy savings.
Fantastic Four – The entire team will now be Scandanavian, and spend time finding ways to improve the standard of living for those around them.
Nick Fury – White guy.
Thor – The Norse thing is confusing to a lot of people, make him Jesus from now on.
