25 Random Things You Didn’t Know About Me by Superman
(The Following was taken off of Superman’s Facebook Page)
Alright, you guys…Geez you are like Doomsday, you’re relentless. Here we go…(Up up and away?)
1. It actually takes me a bound and a half to two bounds to leap a tall building
2. You don’t need super hearing to know that Lois snores like crazy.
3. I’m actually Jewish, but the circumcision proved to be impossible
4. I am aware of how gay my outfit is, thank you very much.
5. I feel sorry for any kid who went through puberty without X-ray vision
6. I am, in fact, faster than the Flash. I let him win. I mean, Jesus, it’s all he’s got, I’m not going to take THAT away from him.
7. Kryptonite is not only my weakness, it also really pisses me off.
8. Every time I’m rescuing someone who complains about how some disaster destroyed their home, I’m secretly thinking “Oh BOO HOO, my whole planet blew up!!!” but I never say it.
9. At a Justice League party, Wonder Woman got drunk and confessed to me that she can fly, she just does it in a seated position to fool people into thinking she has an invisible jet plane. For some reason, she finds that very funny.
10. To “Spice things up” in the bedroom, I once surprised Lois by dressing my penis up as Lex Luthor. To this day , when she’s in the mood, she still asks me if I’d like to see “Luthor’s hideout”
11. I really wish people would stop e-mailing me that lame ass Five for Fighting song
12. Every time someone ironically calls someone else “Braniac” I immediately look over my shoulder, just in case.
13. Even I didn’t like Superman IV…and unlike most people I actually liked Superman III…That Richard Pryor cracks me up!!
14. I have saved the world 63,283,774 times. And I have the scrapbooks to prove it.
15. I went as Batman for Halloween this year.
16. If I had to do it over again, I’d pick a better name than Superman
17. “Man and Superman” is not a play about me, but I still recommend it
18. My body is immune to harm, so I eat everything deep fried. I’m serious. EVERYTHING.
19.I furnished the Fortress of Solitude entirely with Ikea furniture. It looks great! (Took me forever to put it together though)
20. Most of my power comes from the sun…I wish the rest of America would follow suit.
21. Green Lantern made a pass at me once
22. There is nothing but John Williams on my Ipod
23. My most embarrassing moment: A bad gas attack caused a hurricane when I was flying over the Doninican Republic one time.
24. I once flew backwards around the planet and reversed time because I missed the first 5 minutes of “The Office” I have GOT to get a tivo
25. My real name is Clark Ken…OH SHIT!!!
