8 Simple Rules for Making a Superman Movie
an Open Letter to Zack Snyder
Dear Zack
You would think it would be the easiest thing in the world to get right, but no one has made a decent Superman movie since the early 80’s. (It’s a fact of SCIENCE!!) Everyone knows what Superman does. Everyone knows what he’s like. And yet, know one seems to be able to get it right. Well The Correctness is here to help, so pay attention …
The Correctness Casting Couch : Wonder Woman
Well kids, it’s time to cast the big one…Diana, the Amazon who in our Smackdown series somewhat controversially handed Captain America his ass on a shield, as it were. Her powers, like Superman’s, vary wildly depending on who you talk to but there is no doubt about her iconic status and her ability to not only hang with, but occasionally even beat the Big Boys.
The Correctness Casting Couch (finally)presents: Wonder Woman.
Letter to a Woodcutter
Dear Mr. Woodcutter,
I am writing to you seeking compensation for damages to my property and myself, stemming from events of two weeks ago. As you’re no doubt aware, your children, finding themselves lost in the woods, took it upon themselves to vandalize a modern art installation I was working on in the darkest part of the forest. Not that you would be concerned, but my goal was to show the juxtaposition of the innocence and color of candy with the bleakness of the forest.
Read more…
Daniel…I am your Father!
The above photo is of myself and my new son, Daniel Harrison Binns. On the whole, fatherhood suits me. He shares many of my facial features, yet somehow he manages to make them work for him on a level that I have yet to master. What I have found in my limited time in Daddy’s chair is that the miracle of birth is not actually in birth itself. Rather it lies in the fact that this small creature does everything in its power to make you hate it, screaming, defecating, depriving you of sleep and yet it has the complete opposite effect.
Amazing Racist? A True Life Adventure Story
Some of our regular readers know that I am a student teacher, and as such I am surrounded by children who have no idea how offensive or hilarious they are. An example:
Kid: I like your toque, Mr. M! Where did you get it?
Me: Thanks, my mom gave it to me.
Kid: What? I thought your mom was dead!
Me: Not to the best of my knowledge.
Guys in Tights and Fark Green Lights
A Correctness State of the Union
First, a bit of history.
About a year and a half ago, after some social function or another (I believe it may well have been an evening of Settlers of Catan) just as the man/boy who would become known as Robbie Robtown was heading out my front door, I said to him…
“Hey, we should start an online humor magazine.”