Hamlet’s Daytimer
FRIDAY
2:00 P.M.
Fathers Funeral
Catch the 8:15 from Wittenberg for Dads Funeral
REMEMBER!! Send postcard to Ophelia (with words of so sweet breath composed as to make the postcard richer)
12:00 p.m.
Inherit crown, (Huzzah!)
1:00 p.m.
Rule Denmark (Double Huzzah!)
Funeral Speech??
What a grace was seated on this brow,
So long, Dad its my country now! (ha ha.)
A Haiku Cycle for the Creamsicle Women: The peroxide blondes with fake orange tans.
A Haiku Cycle for the Creamsicle Women: The peroxide blondes with fake orange tans. Like a winter leaf, You tumble, awkwardly off Your broken high heels ………………………………….. Your perfect orange skin The hottest oompa loompa I have seen today ………………………………….. Your spray tan hits you Like...
PenisHats.com or .org or, well, hats for penises anyways.
Funding proposal: PenisHats.com, or, My totally awesome idea: Potential investor: For some time now, I have been secretly saving a totally awesome get-rich-quick scheme. It’s penishats.com, a website that sells of a wide variety of comfortable hats, and accessories, for flaccid penises. Touques, baseball caps, pirate hats, bandanas, cowboy hats, fireman’s helmets, sheriff’s badges, neckties, tiny leather holsters, scabbards, machine...