My Financial Advisor is God
I saw a headline once on Yahoo.com that claimed more and more people were turning to the Bible for financial advice.
This is very odd to me. If you found a copy of the Wall Street Journal that was over 2000 years old, would you take the “Hot Stock Tips” or would you find them just a tad out of date?
A Lexicon of Lesser Known Superheroes
CAPTAIN INERTIA (Worlds of Wonder Comics, 1952)
In the fifties, television became a national craze, and young children would flake out in front of the tube and waste hours in a passive heap. Worlds of Wonder Comics tried to capitalize on this with the introduction of Captain Inertia, the ultimate passive aggressive.
The Lyric Letters
Dear Joe Jackson
If you have indeed seen gorillas walking with pretty women down your street perhaps you should be less concerned about who your ex is dating and more concerned about calling the Animal Control people.
Sincerely,
TBinns
Concrete Blackboard Jungle Minds
Arlene Patterson was new to teaching in an inner city school- brand new- but she knew, after her extensive teacher training, that she could reach out to these kids and make a difference. The fact that she was a white, hardline mormon from a middle-class suburban middle-America made no difference in her mind. She knew, right through her very soul, that she was the one who could teach these delinquent kids- the ones the Principle of PS 101 had called “unteachable”, “hopeless” and even “Seriously dangerous, and not at all stereotypically gang members, but actually gang members.”. Arlene knew when “the Man” was talking, and she knew she didn’t have to accept anyone else’s prejudices or “written warnings from the city police force”.
Gerald and the Sea
Gerald McAfferty had a very normal life. He was a claims adjuster, for a large insurance company. He lived in Ohio, and had never left the state. When he finished high school, with near perfect grades, he went immediately to university. After he completed his degree, he was hired directly to the job which he held to this day. He lived alone, in a one bedroom apartment, and ate his lunch all alone every day. Life was quite predictable for Gerald, until his 31st birthday. Soon after that forgettable day, Gerald heard the call of the sea for the first time.
The Insufferable Teatime at Petticoat Manor
Randolph Holstershire the Third arrived in a coach precisely on time. He stepped out and tipped the driver ten percent to the penny- an amount which he had calculated using the abacus he was so rarely parted from. The abacus had been given to him as a gift by a Chinaman he had kept in his employ whilst he was on sabbatical in the Eastern Lands. Randolph couldn’t recall the name of his servant, but he did recall how best to use the abacus- for tipping. He also recalled a torrid night in Afghanistan, just he and his servant, naked and clinging to each other to create enough body heat to survive a mountain storm. It was that night he’d learned the secrets of the abacus, and more he would rarely say. Calculating a square root by hand takes dextrous fingers and delicate instruction to say the least, but thoughts of this kind were not relevant to his visit to Petticoat Manor.