Public Health Emergency Advice
The Correctness received this impassioned plea for wisdom a few days after the close of our contest, but we felt it warranted special attention, due to the serious public health concerns:
Dear Correctness,
Could you please help me and my friend with a problem we are having. As residents of South East Asia, it has come to our attention that many people are afraid of contracting H1N1. This in itself is annoying, as the current strain of the virus appears to be as terrifying as dermatitis, and quite a lot less irritating.
Hey Idaho, What’s Your Fucking Problem?
A quick look at the Correctness analytics reveal we have received hits from every province and every state. Except one.
Idaho.
Time Travel FAQs Part 1: Folding Time
… Q: A popular technique for time travel that I often hear discussed is “folding time”. How does folding time help to travel through time?
A: Well, it’s a simple as this: Imagine time is this piece of paper (Rob holds a piece of paper). Now imagine we could do this (Rob bends the paper to touch in a couple of places) so we could pass from one point in time to another. Well time travel is not at all like that. It’s more like if I did that paper bending thing, except with time instead of paper. Paper is more like paper than it is like time, it’s just serving as a physical analogue in this case. Like, I guess you could create similes about how paper is like time, but why bother?…
See full text for instructions…
This Day in History
In 1305, Scottish Rebel William Wallace was finally captured by the English, and sent to London for his execution. And although historical records are fuzzy, we are sure he called one of the arresting officers “Sugartits” and went on an antisemitic rant.