The Correctness Explains: The Phone Company Pt.1
…TPC is going to be defensive with you when you call. The aren’t angry, they are defensive. First, everyone hates them, and they don’t understand why. They don’t understand why everyone hates them because they are retarded. Second, they have had literally weeks of training in the art of the closed ended rhetorical paradigm. Not only are they entirely untrained in the unimaginable possibility that you may have a point, but they are also exclusively trained to respond to questions for which they receive only yes or no answers. Consequently, they have absolutely not the first nutstamp of a clue as to what to do if you ask them questions off the approved list. If you thought the Pope was slow on the progress, the Catholic church looks comparatively responsive (and non-rapey) next to TPC…
Superhero Smackdown Semi Finals: Batman vs. The Flash
Here at The Correctness SportsishNetwerkkz, we offer our be-all-end-all absolutely correct answers on which superheroes would win in a fight. Marvel? DC? Watchmen as distributed by DC? Spongebob Squarepants? We’re into the semi’s! The playoffs continue this week in the Pengrowth Deathdrome. It’s brutal, ugly, violent, and soul rending…and that’s just the comment section!!!
A Nerd’s Letter to Penthouse
Dear Penthouse,
I calculated the odds of the letters that people write you being true, constructing a formula based on ratio of repeated incidents, and comparitive studies on similarities of writing styles, and divided it by a whole number rounded up, calculated from an overall probabilty factor based on plausibility and came to the conclusion that the letters written in your forum were specious at best, and certainly would never happen to me.
H1 – Flames 2
(ED: Normally, The Correctness avoids direct commentary on matters of a political nature, as we feel our audience understands that most politicians are dummies, but in this case we couldn’t resist.)
According to the media, The Calgary Flames players,staff, and families were able to arrange a private clinic to receive H1N1 vaccinations, while the unwashed masses had to line up, and are now waiting for clinics to re-open. We might be able to understand this if they had a bunch of appointments to show off the Stanley Cup, but that hasn’t been a problem for 2 decades.
Hooray! We’re Immune!
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