How I know “The Secret” is Bullshit

(Note: This is a repost of the original).


Some people I know who are into spiritualism, which is the practice of inexplicably believing anything you are told by some jackass who wrote a book, swear by “The Secret” The central idea, I’m told, is that if you think of something hard enough, and want it enough, it will in fact happen.

If this is true, then I would have had sex with Phoebe Cates in the 80’s because I was 16, and I was thinking about that ALL THE FUCKING TIME!


Did not have sex with. At all.

“No No No, ” they say to me. You have to “Actualize your Happiness” (Catchy jargon is the key to both happiness and selling books it seems)” and take steps to MAKE it happen.”

So to sum up…the philosophy behind the book is I have to want something, then do all the stuff required to get it. Which I’m pretty sure me and everybody else was doing anyway. So…the complete opposite of a secret, then.


Fuck you Kevin Kline.

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Comments (1)

The M-Daddy said on 04-03-2010
The M-Daddy

I heard he keeps her in an old shed out back and forces her to always wear her infamous ‘Fast Times’ swimsuit, in which she is made to constantly emerge topless from his pool while he looks on, or letting her out to appear only briefly to show the world she’s not dead and spit out another kid, the byproduct of his constant raping of her in the shed.
By these measures, Kevin Kline is a brilliant, brilliant man.

Author: Tbinns

Tony is a stand up comedian. Tony is a writer. Tony is a sketch comedian. Tony defines himself by what he does. This is due to poor self esteem. He is horribly opinionated and prone to boogers.

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