The Correctness Explains: The Phone Company Pt.1
…TPC is going to be defensive with you when you call. The aren’t angry, they are defensive. First, everyone hates them, and they don’t understand why. They don’t understand why everyone hates them because they are retarded. Second, they have had literally weeks of training in the art of the closed ended rhetorical paradigm. Not only are they entirely untrained in the unimaginable possibility that you may have a point, but they are also exclusively trained to respond to questions for which they receive only yes or no answers. Consequently, they have absolutely not the first nutstamp of a clue as to what to do if you ask them questions off the approved list. If you thought the Pope was slow on the progress, the Catholic church looks comparatively responsive (and non-rapey) next to TPC…
Laser Sluts From Mars: A Hollywood Book n’ Film For Women
LASER SLUTS FROM MARS:
PART VI: THE SEXY WRATH OF THE SPACE TITS UNDERGARMENTS
Juliette set her tea cup down onto the saucer. What had motivated her to use her grandmother’s good china for tea today was beyond simple explanation. Nonetheless, she had been drawn to the good china, and she felt a slight sense of coy scandalousness for having selected it.
An Apology, A Recipe.
Recently, we had one of our fans leave our site for good, because we (okay, I) accidentally offended her. I am very sorry. Since we are down now to only four fans total, I felt I would take a break from the funny and try to do something for the betterment of mankind that you can all appreciate.
What could be more free from controversy and possible offensive content than a delicious recipe? Almost nothing! So here, to provide something safe and comforting for you, is a nostalgic recipe.
Click to Read More….
Cult Diaries
June 15:
Those cult guys came around again today. I know they are in a cult because of the nametags, photocopied literature, and matching discount suits from Tip Top. I pretended I wasn’t home. I hate those cult guys.
June 16:
Cult guys are back, they knocked, and knocked, and knocked. They must have waited on the porch for twenty minutes. I think they stole my newspaper. I would never be an asshole like those newspaper thieving cult assholes. Do they know I’m home?
Kingdom Hearts Conundrum
Dear Square Enix:
I have a couple questions about Kingdom Hearts.
1. Why in your advertising do you pronounce “385/2 days” “three-eight-five days over two”, when logically it would be “three hundred eighty five over 2 days” or even more logically “192.5 days”?