The Injured Hand of Fate
(Admin Rock: We at The Correctness would like to welcome Intern Ellis to the team. Already, he’s become a prolific writer for the team, he’s only one post behind Tbinns for the year. Also, Intern Ellis is not a total douche, like Intern Benji.)
We are fast approaching October 21, 2015. If this date rings a bell for you, congratulations! You’ve seen Back to the Future: Part II! And since you remember that specific date, you’ve probably seen it more than once! Alternately, October 21, 2015 is your future child’s birthday and you really need to stop planning ahead. Anyway, by this point you’re probably asking yourself a question we’ve all pondered at some time or another:
“WHERE ARE THE FLYING CARS!!?”
And rightly so! The “future” sequences of Back to the Future: Part II are supposed to happen in THREE YEARS. That’s hardly enough time to perfect flying cars, hover boards, produce fourteen “JAWS” movies and somehow bring fax machines (and Princess Diana) back from the dead. In fact, if we’re being realistic here, it’s not enough time at all. Back to the Future: Part II, I’m sorry to say, is…INACCURATE.
Fig. 1: DUN DUN DUNNN
Or is it?
Remember, after the events of Back to the Future: Part III, how Marty McFly didn’t get in that car accident back in 1985? And how Doc Brown said “[his] future is unwritten” from that point onwards? In that timeline, Marty didn’t injure his hand. Therefore, he didn’t give up on his musical career, or age at twice the rate of the real Michael J. Fox.
All the technology that we see in BttF: P II appears in the timeline in which Marty did get in the car accident and was injured. We never see the future Marty creates by not doing those things. At least, not in the Back to the Future movies (I’ll explain in a minute). Somehow, the act of Marty McFly growing up to be a loser has a butterfly effect on the rest of the world that causes a rapid, Jetsons-like advance in technology. Conversely, when Marty conquers his demons and grows up to be (presumably) a successful rock star, this jump in technology doesn’t happen. The 2015 Marty creates by finishing his character arc is a boring, lousy one. The one we’re going to get 3 years from now (See? I said I’d explain it). No hover-cars, no Jaws 19, no weather control, and certainly no garbage-powered fusion. By selfishly running away from an incredibly dangerous drag race, Marty McFly has doomed the advancement of the entire human race.
Fig. 2: History’s greatest villain.
