12 Days of Chipmunks: “O Christmas Tree (O Tannenbaum)”
DECEMBER TWENTY-FOURTH: HOPE
We’ve reached the final chapter of Ross Bagdasarian Sr.’s magnum opus. Christmas with the Chipmunks is coming to a close, and so is my review. As well as my ability to write any reviews at all. Apparently, someone didn’t get the “remember to use the back entrance” memo.
12 Days of Chipmunks: “Jingle Bell Rock”
DECEMBER TWENTY-THIRD: AFTERMATH
“Jingle Bell Rock” is a tricky song. It makes perfect sense to have a “hip”, “current” Christmas song that “wasn’t written a hundred years ago” included on the album, but does it work thematically? After all, Christmas with the Chipmunks was written to bring about world peace, to show humanity a new way of life, one of giving up the old ways that have so poisoned our society. And how else to wipe clean thousands-of-years-old traditions, and their anthems, than by turning them into novelty music, the lowest form of art?
12 Days of Chipmunks: A Correction
I apologize for yesterday’s bizarre article. It would appear my new contact here at The Correctness doesn’t know the difference between a fairy tale and a song review. So if you’re reading this, Mr. Sullenger, know that you’re fired. It’s bad enough that you had to call the Waltons while I was staying at their house—while they were on vacation! They’d never notice I was there!—and get me thrown in jail, but if you’re not even going to post the right article, I don’t know why I even pay you. Don’t come back to the abandoned Lloyd’s Skating Rink. I rather like having my new office there, and I don’t want your incompetence ruining that too.
12 Days of Chipmunks: “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer”
DECEMBER NINETEENTH: DOWNFALL
There once was a man who lived in a tiny cabin on the outskirts of a small mountain town. The man desperately wanted children, but as a florist, he had long ago taken a vow of celibacy. Not wanting to break his vows, yet still wanting a child of his own, the man grabbed his lantern and ventured off into the woods to ask the trees for advice.
12 Days of Chipmunks: “The Twelve Days of Christmas”
DECEMBER SEVENTEENTH: RECURSION
“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is a curious song, in that it functions not only as a synopsis of Christmas with the Chipmunks—each “day” representing the corresponding track—but as the denouement to the “Seville-ization” saga that began with “Silver Bells”. And since it is only the ninth track, it also gives us a glimpse into what comes next on the album.