12 Days of Chipmunks: “Jingle Bell Rock”
DECEMBER TWENTY-THIRD: AFTERMATH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E-KoT3rMfI
“Jingle Bell Rock” is a tricky song. It makes perfect sense to have a “hip”, “current” Christmas song that “wasn’t written a hundred years ago” included on the album, but does it work thematically? After all, Christmas with the Chipmunks was written to bring about world peace, to show humanity a new way of life, one of giving up the old ways that have so poisoned our society. And how else to wipe clean thousands-of-years-old traditions, and their anthems, than by turning them into novelty music, the lowest form of art? That much is clear, but “Jingle Bell Rock” has so very little to do with Christmas—even less than “Jingle Bells” does, which is no small feat—it seems pointless to mock it. Really, there are many Christmas songs more deserving of the Bagdasarian treatment than harmless little “Jingle Bell Rock”. In fact, “Jingle Bell Rock” is so happy, and so carefree, it almost seems to depict a world without war. A world united. A world post-Christmas with the Chipmunks.
And once again, we see Bagdasarian’s utter mind-melting genius shining through. Listening to a carol that written long after the others, we are experiencing the relative “future”; a utopian future in which humanity has finally agreed to put its differences aside and come together as one.
But all utopias have their downfall.
“Wait”, I can hear you saying. “Didn’t you say Ross Bagdasarian Sr. was a total genius who could have brought about world peace if he’d only had time to explain the album? And yet here you’re saying that world peace wouldn’t last forever? Quit being so inconsistent!” Once again, I thank you for your input, as well as your honesty. Most people would sugarcoat things, but I appreciate that you don’t. I like you. You’re direct, you’ve got opinions, and you don’t take “no” for an answer. How would you like to be my new assistant?
The article. Right.
Of course Ross Bagdasarian Sr. knew that any perfect world—even one of his own design—wouldn’t last forever. He knew that there wasn’t even such a thing as perfection. The beginning of “Jingle Bell Rock” contains a refrain from “Jingle Bells”, a supposedly perfect song written by a machine. But note that the piccolos playing the refrain are out of tune with each other; this, of course, represents the fact that no two individuals have the same idea of “perfection”. Also note the opening monologue, which I have transcribed for your convenience.
“Hi, everybody! This is David Seville with my Chipmunk pals, inviting you to get aboard the Christmas bandwagon and—HERE WE GO!!”
And, of course, I will interpret it for you. That is my job, after all.
“Hi, everybody!”
We begin with a spirit of unity. The speaker is addressing everyone on the planet, regardless of race, religion or status. He isn’t saying “Hi, White People!” or “Hi, Non-Amputees!”; he’s saying “Hi, everybody!”
“This is David Seville with my chipmunk pals…”
Note that Dave, opposite to every song on the album up to this point, no longer cares that his “pals” are chipmunks. Dave accepts the Chipmunks for who they are, not who he wants them to be. Truly, he has evolved as a person. Perhaps his kindness to animals also represents mankind finally giving the environment the attention and respect it deserves. One can only hope.
“…inviting you to get aboard the Christmas bandwagon…”
Normally, groupthink is a bad thing. But when all are united in celebrating peace and happiness, what harm can be done?
“…and—HERE WE GO!!”
Peculiar. Dave seems to have had more to say, but misjudged the amount of time he had to say it. The first, tiny, crack in the perfect crystal sphere of harmony and happiness that is World Bagdasarian. Nearly imperceptible, but there all the same. We don’t see—or rather, we don’t hear—the world devolve back to its old ways in the course of “Jingle Bell Rock”; Bagdasarian wanted to show the beginning of an era of peace and prosperity, not the end of one. He didn’t need to hit the audience over the head with a mushroom cloud to get his point across. All peace, and all hope, ends eventually. And our hope for peace ended when Ross Bagdasarian Sr. died.
“One more thing”, you say. “In your review of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”, didn’t you say this song was all about chaos? This sounds like it’s all about peace! Those things are totally opposites! You’re pulling this out of your ass!”
My dear friend, what is peace but chaos united? See you at the Lloyd’s tomorrow, new assistant. Remember to use the back entrance.
