12 Days of Chipmunks: “The Twelve Days of Christmas”
DECEMBER SEVENTEENTH: RECURSION
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R98t6f8I1gk
Excuse the bizarre artwork in this video. It’s from some Korean bootleg version of the album, I believe.
“The Twelve Days of Christmas” is a curious song, in that it functions not only as a synopsis of Christmas with the Chipmunks—each “day” representing the corresponding track—but as the denouement to the “Seville-ization” saga that began with “Silver Bells”. And since it is only the ninth track, it also gives us a glimpse into what comes next on the album.
A partridge in a pear tree (“Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town”):
Biblically, the partridge represents Satan. Just as the partridge steals eggs from other nests, Satan attempts to steal souls from God, using partridges. Pears, conversely, represent justice, wisdom and purity. In most illustrations, the partridge is incorrectly depicted perched comfortably on the pear tree, rather than being imprisoned forever within it. The partridge here is “Mad” Sam Yorty, the tyrannical garbage-delivering mayor of Los Angeles; the pear tree represents Bagdasarian’s hope that truth, justice, and everything that is good would one day prevail over evil. In fact, the pear tree may even represent Christmas with the Chipmunks.
Two turtle doves (“The Chipmunk Song”):
The two doves turtle represent the duality of man. On one hand, you have Dave Seville, who fights to keep his urges and impulses in check; Dave Seville, who tries to be good and kind-hearted to his Chipmunk pals. On the other hand, you have multiple bite wounds because the Chipmunks have devoured Dave, and that wasn’t enough, and you’re next.
Three french hens (“Jingle Bells”):
Yet another jab at Pierpont’s holy trifecta of Horse/Brain, Driver/Idea, and Sleigh/Medium. By making all three into the same animal, Bagdasarian implies the three are equally important, rather than the Horse/Brain being more useless or inefficient than the others.
Four calling birds (“O Christmastime (Greensleeves)”):
Originally “four colly birds”, the lyric has changed over the years to “four calling birds”. “Colly bird” is simply another name for “blackbird”, but it is a term that has fallen out of favour, and about which no one really cares any more. Similarly, no one cares about “O Christmastime (Greensleeves)”.
Five gold rings (“Silver Bells”):
Just as the Dark Lord Sauron forged none-and-nineteen golden rings of power to exert his malevolence over the Kings of Middle-Earth, so too did Dave try to control his Chipmunks with the enticement of silver bells. An as-yet unsolved mystery of Christmas with the Chipmunks is that of the fifth ring; while it makes sense that there would be four (one for each Chipmunk, and one for Dave), why are there five? Who gets the fifth ring? Is it some fourth Chipmunk Dave wants to possess? Or does it belong to someone who wants to control Dave? Is it God’s ring? Sauron’s? We’ll never know.
Six geese a-laying (“Over the River and Through the Woods”):
Since “Over the River and Through the Woods” marks the beginning of Dave’s realization that he’s created a monster (or three), it stands to reason that today’s gift would be a goose (or six—note that six is three divided by two) laying an egg. What the song doesn’t specify is whether that egg is a goose egg, or a Chipmunk egg that merely acts like a goose egg.
Seven swans a-swimming (“All I Want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)”):
The “swans” refer, of course, to Theodore’s pearly whites. But the lake in which they swim is no peaceful pond. It is a horrible, never ending river of blood. Swans are often associated with beauty; in Theodore’s eyes, he is beautiful to Dave. To Dave, he is an ugly duckling that has somehow made itself even uglier.
Eight maids a-milking (“Frosty the Snowman”):
Simple enough. I trust I don’t have to explain this one to you.
Nine ladies dancing (“The Twelve Days of Christmas”):
Now things get interesting. At this point, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is about itself. But, since “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is itself only about all the other songs on the album, then the “nine ladies dancing” must somehow represent eleven different songs. How could this be? Did Bagdasarian make a mistake? Of course not. Since we haven’t yet reached the next sets of gifts, we only have to worry about what has already been given. The “nine ladies dancing” need not refer to the three gifts given after them; only before, and including the nine ladies themselves, of course. It’s really quite simple.
We have entered the future now. Note Alvin’s increasing tendency to voice his exhaustion, always on the sixth day (which represents “Over the River and Through the Woods”, and thus the Chipmunks’ refusal to obey Dave). I don’t want to reveal the titles of the next three songs on the album, to keep it a surprise for those of you who have never listened to it before (and good on you, waiting for an expert like me to provide a review so you can understand its philosophical and metaphorical genius).
Ten lords a-leaping (???):
Ross Bagdasarian Sr. must have been seriously committed to keeping the original lyrics of the song, because even just listening to it, you can tell he wanted to change “lords a-leaping” to “lords o’reaping”. Suffice it to say, the end of “Seville-ization” marks the victory of one side…and the death of the other.
“Leven” pipers “peeping” (???):
At this point the Chipmunks appear to be having some sort of mental breakdown. Each gift becomes a bizarre, garbled version of its former self: “leven pipers peeping”, “ten milking jumpers”, “eight maids a-mocking”, etc. The insanity stops only when Dave commands the Chipmunks to stop (coincidentally, right when it’s time to sing the praises of the Five Gold Rings of Power). Track 11 is thematically all about chaos, so this only makes sense.
Twelve drummers drumming (???):
The final gift and the final song. The drummers drum a funeral march. What is lost may never be found again.
