No, I LOVE Jesus.
Alright, you heathens, you keep insisting on asking us about our romantic affiliation with Jesus. The volume of mail about us and Jesus is overwhelming. Every day, you people, with your questions about Jesus, and who kissed who first. Well, there is nothing going on between us and Jesus, but we’d surely like a crack at hitting that.
How Hard We’d Hit Jesus:
I’d hit that so hard it would take Jesus an extra day to come back at Easter.
I’d hit Jesus so hard they’d have to give out Cheerios instead of communion wafers.
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American Apparel and the End of Days
IN THE BEGINNING, there was The Eighties. And the Eighties were wrong in the eyes of The Lord, and the sinners who worked at American Apparel had been born in the 90’s, and they knew not how wrong they were to dress that way. And they knew not that pulp-porn imagery is creepy, and they knew not of how to work at a real job. The Lord looked upon American Apparel, and he frowned.
1. Yea, and the sky will crack, and fire will rain down, and those wearing retro non-prescription glasses frames from the eighties will be blinded immediately, and they will run in the streets and bleed from their anuses. For Vanity shall be the sin which ends the world. “Glasses are for seeing, not for fashion” sayeth The Lord, and The Lord shall say “Enough with the glasses, especially if you don’t need them. How about I give you all a bleeding anus disease?”. And so it shall be.
Jesus: The Rolling Stone Interview
Talk about your comeback tours. Even the Stones or Kiss would have trouble after a millennium, but Jesus is back, in a big way.