An Apology, A Recipe.
Recently, we had one of our fans leave our site for good, because we (okay, I) accidentally offended her. I am very sorry. Since we are down now to only four fans total, I felt I would take a break from the funny and try to do something for the betterment of mankind that you can all appreciate.
What could be more free from controversy and possible offensive content than a delicious recipe? Almost nothing! So here, to provide something safe and comforting for you, is a nostalgic recipe.
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Cult Diaries
June 15:
Those cult guys came around again today. I know they are in a cult because of the nametags, photocopied literature, and matching discount suits from Tip Top. I pretended I wasn’t home. I hate those cult guys.
June 16:
Cult guys are back, they knocked, and knocked, and knocked. They must have waited on the porch for twenty minutes. I think they stole my newspaper. I would never be an asshole like those newspaper thieving cult assholes. Do they know I’m home?
Kingdom Hearts Conundrum
Dear Square Enix:
I have a couple questions about Kingdom Hearts.
1. Why in your advertising do you pronounce “385/2 days” “three-eight-five days over two”, when logically it would be “three hundred eighty five over 2 days” or even more logically “192.5 days”?
Haiku for a Monday
In our continuing attempts at increasing the Correctness of every day life, we present this artistic offering of daily life.
Canadian TV Current Events Explained:
Dear Reader:
Some of you have been wondering what exactly has been going on with Canadian cable television? What is this argument between the large cable providers and the networks in Canada? Likely you have seen the advertisements with the sincere looking broadcast school graduates doing their best to represent either side of this issue, whilst also gamely trying to disguise the knowledge they surely must have that, because they accepted the work as the spokespeople for said companies, they will never work in Canada again, for either cable or network television.
Basically, what is happening is this:
Canada is a vast nation that is sparsely populated. Really, to comprehend just how vast is difficult, because so many of us live along the US border, anxiously awaiting an invasion because we still have some clean water. This, by the way, is the reason that we are actively using up all the water we can in the oilsands. If you Americans come for our water, and we have already poisoned it all, first point goes to us. We’ll burn the crops all the way to Moscow, this is just preemptive.
